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I guess for pure dramatic effect I begin with the spider legs, although they hardly represent the insane amount of fun I had last night. They did however, sort of kick off the night – I went downstairs to grab a bottle of wine for us to sip while recording Feminine Hijinx (we always have wine, and discuss it). Reached to turn out the light…and noticed these spider legs nastily poking out from under the plate cover. Good god, I hate spiders, and this is the second time this same switch plate has had a spider crouching under it. Same spot, last year, our friend Marty disposed of the alive one for me. This time, John got tagged. I ran out the door before I had to hear about how it would go. (And, if you’re wondering, I got the whole story this a.m. – not one, not two, but three, albeit dead, spiders there, he took the plate cover off when he couldn’t just tug the first one out. Shiver, shiver, cringe, shiver, UGH! John is a hero for spider hunting, thanks honey!)

So, onto MUCH more fun, hanging with Suz and Kim, and their hubbies Coreman and Brian, and our first Feminine Hijinx guest Kyle McNary, for our fourth recording. Kyle was a fabulous guest, what a seriously cool, smart, and hilarious guy, and author, check out his website. We made the mistake of not allowing him enough time to talk – gee, what a shocker. I actually got the giggles this time, the real deal, could not stop myself. An appetizer for what was to come – total, knock down, drag out hilarity. POST-recording hijinx, it turns out…

Kyle had left and the girls and their boys and I were eating chips, fabulous Suz-baked lemon bars (served with a classic 1950s apron, rooster, red checks and all…recipe in comments, below), and gabbing. I was playing with my hair and noticed this big chunk of loose hair – kinda freaked out, I pulled it and ended up with a huge clump of hair in my hand. I held it up, thinking, OMG, I’m going bald, when Cory said, the drill. Of course! The drill that I almost accidentally killed myself with, and had bragged just moments before on FH that I only lost two hairs to (oops), had ripped this ball of hair right out of my head. I don’t know how the hell I didn’t notice earlier, or maybe it came completely loose only just last night, but whatever, there we had a big clump of hair. Garbage to anyone else, but not to Kim and Suz, who seized the clump and began a process of devising various clever uses for it. First up, Suz, who declared it was a merkin, and placed it on me in its intended place, and that’s all I’m going to say (if you listened to episode three of FH, you know what a merkin is). We died laughing, gasping, choking, crying laughter. From there, a mustache, armpit hair, toe hair (modeled by Suz over her lovely lemon bars, with an Elvis candle in the background and glass of St. Innocent Pinot Gris in the foreground), butt hair, and ear hair. By the time we were done, I was toast, absolutely spent and exhausted and hurting. And it was GREAT. Truly one of the most fun nights of my life. (And PS, even though it doesn’t look or sound like it, these shenanigans had nothing to do with alcohol – Brian, Cory, Kyle had water, Suz her usual three sips of wine, Kim and I, well, OK Kim and I had wine. And a beer. But nothing over the top. No, my friends – and I! – are just plain crazy, all on our own. I heart my friends!)

What the hell do I do today that could possibly compare to all the hilarity? I guess I shouldn’t try and will just enjoy a lovely, quiet Saturday at home. Fix a little din, ooh, maybe a little brunch, I didn’t really eat breakfast and am feeling a bit hungry. Hmmm…we’ll see what John’s up for. He’s working today, and doesn’t like to eat while working because it makes him too tired, so I may be on my own for a light lunch instead. How can I think about food in the presence of all this hair? Pure class, that’s what you’ll find here at the moderate epicurean! I’m going for a high/low brow kind of contrast you know… Stay tuned…

Brunch! We did have brunch. And oh boy was it delicious. It was a what-do-I-have-available meal, love those. Over-easy eggs on whole-grain toast. Salad of chopped romaine, parsley, and tarragon. And the star, crispy potatoes. Started out with chopped bacon, sauteed, then removed from the pan (and added to the salad). Diced potatoes went into the hot fat until crisp on one side, then sliced mushrooms, diced green pepper, and sliced onions went on top. Few turns of the spatula, little more browning, sprinkle of salt and pepper, voila. Here’s the dilemma: do you eat the salad with the egg/toast (that’s my fav, I think greens cut the rich yolk beautifully) or with the crispy potatoes? Or, the crispy potatoes with the egg? You decide. I washed mine down with a light, crisp glass of Carpene Molvolti Prosecco di Conegliano. And now I’m done.