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I’m here! Although not there…I’m in East Hampton (EH), New York, aka Paradise, visiting my in-laws, Dot and John. (My) John’s bro Tom and his kids are here too, we’re all shacked up together in the Levy’s beautiful, classic, shingled EH house, big front porch, shimmering pool, hydrangeas of every color, towering trees… What can I say? It is absolutely stunning out here. And not to be too nauseating, but the weather is also, well, perfect. Ditto the views, the eats, the peeps. Gag, I know. Warm days, cool nights, it’s rough…

The basic groove: open with a little pool action in the morning, followed by a nice lunch (usually standing in the kitchen, everyone fending for themselves from an assortment of tasties home-made, Citarella-made, or local farmer-made; yes, a less famous face of the Hamptons is the lush, rolling farmland, cranking out some of the best produce on Earth). Then, to the beach, of course! White sand, crashing waves, balmy breezes, golden sunshine, and more Chanel-encased fake breasts than you can shake a stick at. Or would want to shake a stick at. Or something. Back here to the hacienda for quick showers, clean cotton, cold drinks, and dinner for the crowd courtesy of my father-in-law John. When he cooks, everybody listens. Or, as in last night, courtesy of great cooks – and friends! – Bartley and Maud, and their daughters Catherine and Natalie, who treated us (John, Nathan, Tom, Cam, Allegra, friends Matthew and Caryn, David and Barbara, et moi) to a glowy, dreamy, sunset-into-candlelight-feast on their Sag Harbor deck… Grilled salmon, fresh Hamptons’ corn (the best), tomato-onion salad, foccacia bread (from Espresso in Sag Harbor, home of amazing bread and sandwiches), home-made strawberry shortcake, all washed down with copious amounts of chilled rose… I can’t say what a treat it is for me to tuck into the offerings of great cooks, in the midst of family, and friends, and tunes (via Maud and John’s warring iPods), in one of the most beautiful places in the world… Love it, love it, lurve it.

Tonight, a casual (probably take-out, which out here = fab-u-lous) dinner on Georgica Beach, Maud’s famous guacamole, cold beer, around a Bartley Bonfire, with s’mores for dessert. Sigh. Tomorrow, my father-in-law takes over his kitchen and we will feast here, around the huge, old dining room table at which I’m now writing, and at the end of the evening, we’ll all stumble up the stairs and into our soft beds, stuffed, buzzing, yawning, and giggling. Not necessarily a pretty picture, but sensual – epicurean! – and fabulously indulgent. Would I have it any other way? Hey, moderation in all things, including moderation, particularly when on vacation in the Hamptons. And you can quote me on that.